Title:  Intombi I

… in collaboration with Valerie Thomas, Paris (2014)

(Re)inventing Aesthetic and (Re)imagining Meaning:
(Re)creating Black Beauty

By Bridget Ngcobo

Zanele Muholi, a black South African visual activist standing in Paris, France stands in front of her camera and demands that we look into her face and see; take in her body and think. The confrontational nature of this photograph however exists, like much of Muholi’s work within a complex space of vulnerability and strength. Much of Muholi’s work in Faces and Phases engages the deadlock between eyes. The space between the women photographed and the viewer is always heavy with meaning, meaning produced by artist, subject and consumer. Reflective of her activism, Muholi has a way with engaging the humanity of all parties. This image is no different.
Muholi’s blackened body stands in a frame against a grey wall in the country where Sarah Baartman died. The exaggerated blackness of her body brings into sharp focus the white. The blackness of the skin between her around eyes, lips, nostrils and hairline makes me want to tear off and or wipe away the white on her face, I want to claw my way inside and see the face of Zanele Muholi in all of it’s blackened glory. Instead, Muholi against a wall in a country where Sarah Baartman, once stood, as a ‘freakshow’, a white scientists’ property, even in death; a body dismembered and on display in a museum for 150 years. Muholi stands in a questioning pose, her black body exposed, her right arm behind her head and left resting on her hip, she is standing as though her body itself were a question mark. Daring the viewer to meet the vulnerability and strength in the darkness of her gaze pupils against the piercing white of her eyes.
What does it mean to hold yourself up and look ahead as a Black South African woman?
What does it mean to while simultaneously know and questioning your beauty?
What is black beauty when it defined from behind a mask of whiteness?

The image of Muholi in France may not immediately conjure the story of Sarah Baartman, but in its overt engagement with the Black female body specifically in France it is impossible not to return to the question of history.
What does it mean to hold black femininity and beauty in your body?
What does it mean to engage that?
A French journalist viewing, the “Hottentot Venus,” Sarah remarked, “not appealing Venus especially after seeing a Medici Venus.” The history of this iconic racial and sexual figure is interwoven with the present conceptions of beauty and the Black female both at an individual and collective level.
How does a Black woman (re)imagine definitions of beauty on black bodies behind or regardless of the white mask?
How does a black woman create meanings of beauty at all?
In this photograph Muholi boldly confronts the delicate balance of vulnerability and strength of black female bodies collectively and individually.

It is said about Sarah, that even as they investigated her body after finding her, “she hung tenaciously clung to her modesty and only very reluctantly removed the traditional Khoi-Khoi apron she wore when she was publically exhibited.[1]”
It is saddening to me that there is so little trace of Sarah the woman, I wish I knew what she thought as she took in this France and it’s people, how she thought of home, if she longed for love, did she remember that someone found her beautiful?
Did she find herself beautiful?
When they bought her bones home in 2002, what could they say not about Sarah the icon, but Sarah the woman? Through this photograph Muholi reaches into a space of complexity of confrontation around what it means to define and shape your beauty as a black woman. Through her use of color pose and expression she soundly situates herself and her viewers in a place that requires deep self-reflection on the part of any viewer, but particularly on the part of black female viewers.
Perhaps it is dangerous to single out a particular group not on Muholi’s behalf, but on my own. At the risk of being exclusionary, and still in the face of that danger I maintain, this photograph is an important call to black women. In the words of Steve Biko, ”you are either alive and proud or you are dead, and when you are dead, you can’t care anyway.”[2]
This image like much of Muholi’s body of work communicates the vulnerability of black female bodies not as weakness, but rather as part of the story of strength. It is undeniable that Biko’s politics regarding women cannot holistically be regarded as robust, but there is something to be said on the power of Black Consciousness, about (re)covering the lost and distorted pride, (re)creating art and activism, (re)inventing and (re)imagining meaning. I am a black woman living in post-apartheid South Africa hungrily taking in the lives and experiences of black women who exude the beauty I wish to claim as my own. I believe this Muholi’s photograph is an important call to young black South African women like myself to pay attention to the concept interiority; question the make up of our complexities. I urge young Black South African women to like Muholi’s expression question how what makes their beauty both vulnerable and strong?
What they choose to hold on to?
What they choose to let go of?
What angles they choose to expose?

Muholi’s body of work and has been able to communicate vulnerability not as weakness, but rather as part of what makes you strong. I believe the tangible way that Muholi communicates the fragility and tenacity of black womanhood both illustrates the abuses that have been meted out on the black female body while also giving voice to the journey of self-definition. To answer the question of what we want in a rich comprehensive way we should take head to the message to first acknowledge who we are, with all our contradictions and complexities. Looking internally reaching into that place that acknowledges that we do not live in a vacuum, how we see ourselves as black women does not exist untouched by history. It is through our connections with people, who question and who are living and consciously redefining myself that we learn a skill cannot be unlearned. We learn that it is possible to (re)define and (re)create meaning, even under the weight of history, perception and foisted meanings of both blackness and femininity alike.

[1]Maseko, Zola. “The Life and Times of Sarah Baartman, “The Hottentot Venus”” African Studies Review 44.1 (2001): p130.

[2]Biko, Steve, and Aelred Stubbs. I Write What I like. New York: Harper & Row, 1979. Print.
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Special Thanks for Cite Des Arts in Paris and French Institute.

Merci beaucoup!

Photos by Valerie Thomas @ Cite Des Arts in Paris

It seems to me, the world has run amok. The recent happenings in the Middle East, the Ukraine, Nigeria, Syria have left me in a deep reflective mood about my mortality.
Why am I here?
How long am I here?
Whose life did I impact?

On this day (19th July), for my birthday, I have requested friends and family members not to buy me presents but to instead write messages of what our relationship means to each other. Life is fleeting. I do not want obituaries to prolong my funeral program when the time comes. I would rather know how I have made a difference in someone’s life while I am still alive.

My dear family and friends were kind enough to share the following:
________________________

Lizzy Muholi

Happy birthday mntaka ma
amazwi amaningi okubonga ngezinto ezinhle ongenzela zona nomndeni wethu awekho, uyisibusiso emndenini nakubantu.
uJehova akubusise, akwandisele, akuphilise, akuphephise, akuphe amandla, okuphila kade.
Ngyakuthanda uluthokozele lolusuku nezo zonke ezinye uphephile

_____________________

Pamela Nkosi

Happy birthday my friend. Hope you have a wonderful day. I can’t believe it’s 14 Years already of knowing you. This morning I was just thinking about the first day of meeting you at Stuttafords. I still remember you had your hair platted up. As you walked in everyone turned their heads to see this beautiful person walking tall, so confident. When we met, I remember your warm hug and your welcoming smile.

You welcome me into your home and trusted a total stranger. Thank you for helping me finding myself when I was lost and confused. Thank you for being a friend and a sister. Thank you for staying humble and paving the way for others. You are blessed, you are gifted. Thank you for not being selfish but sharing your talent with others and for putting South Africa on the map.

I have been following your work. I have no words to describe it. It’s one of its kind. It speaks to you. I’m glad you are working with the girls ekasi lami. It’s a great job you are doing and an amazing opportunity for them.

These are amazing, sad stories. It’s sad learn that there are people who are still living in those conditions. Thanks to your eye opening work.

Wishing you many more artistic years to come. Ukhule, ungakhokhobi and know that you are loved.

______________________________

Title:  Queen with a camera
by  Nonkululeko Britton-Masekela

Dearest Zanele,

It’s a blessing how we met. Me delivering my poetry on stage, you expressing your poetry through a lens. If this is not a sign of how God-sent you are, then nothing in life matters.

I went on to fall in love with your whole being – your sound mind; your incredibly generous heart; your relentless spirit; your insane sense of humour; your quirky and unique sense of style; your ageless body; and your insanely soft lips…

Allow me to digress….

The reason I turned out into a woman of substance and initiative is because I had you as a shining example. I was also deeply loved by you and know (gratefully so) that even though I had the talent, you would have never allowed me to waste it on laziness and complacency. Because you cared so much for me. I will always be grateful for that.

So, I hung on to your camera strap; tagging along with you as you go on your massive missions to right the wrongs in society. You inspired me to write!

13 years later, from across the world and even though life has taken us different ways. I still hold on to a figurative strap of your camera. I still hold on to the vision you have for young girls/ the world. God has sent you yet again to remind me of the young girl I once was, fortunate enough to have had you as a beacon to follow. I am reminded to be that light for another girl.

I want to remind you that not everyone has the same angels. Some girls will not be able to see things as I did back then. They will not take the baton and run with it. Some will ‘get it’ and indeed achieve wonderful things in your lifetime. I want you to never give up on anyone, because if you had given up on me 13 years ago, I would’ve been so much less an extraordinary.

I love you deeply – beyond any form of comprehension. I count myself incredibly fortunate to be amongst those chosen by you as a lover, mentee, photo subject, friend, sister and one you can call to remind you of why you’re so great.

Inkosi iqhubeke ngokukubusisa.
Makukhanye lakuhambe wena.

______________________________

Siya Saysay Mcuta

I’ve been thinking what to say to you besides happy birthday, but all I’m feeling is I want to for seeing potential in me even though I was at my lowest. Thank you for daring me to trust my abilities and thank you for boosting my confidence when I needed it the most
Happy birthday Muholi hopefully I meet you in Paris one day

_______________________________

Amanda Swarr

My birthday wish for you, sent with love and solidarity.
Wishing you a special day, my friend!

____________________________

Fikile Mazambani
“My friend, my comrade in arms, the wise sister I crave and got, dlozi lam!    Today is your day of introspection, reflection, celebration and perhaps imbibing :)

42 years ago, Ma Bester smiled down at you. She knew you were going to be her last. The last born is special. The last born is both blessed and burdened. Somehow blessed with the expertise that the elder children have imparted your parents but also burdened with the nurturing of the eldest siblings.

We share the same blessings and burdens. It gives me so much solace to know that there is someone who understands the pain to my being, that of wanting to belong, to be seen.

Thank you for seeing me, for believing in me when I couldn’t and wouldn’t. Thank you for telling me hard truths that I could never take from anyone else. Only you my friend.

On this day, I look back, and feel super blessed, to know such an enigma, my mad scientist (artist), with a spirit steeped in greatness.  I have learned so many things from you. Most of all, you have pulled me from the deepest hole that you cannot fathom.

Singapore lit such a fire under my arse!
Thank you for making me feel visible, genuinely loved and respected, even though the heat was making me behave like a donkey lol. I had a great time but the best times were spent at the breakfast table, discussing real issues and getting the real issues to surface. That is a memory I hold so dear and will guard fiercely! Conversation at the zen den plus hash browns = 💓.

On your birthday, I want you to really unplug and meditate on all the great opportunities you have been blessed with – good and bad. You have worked hard and I have seen your success unfold right INFRONT of my eyes, further affirming that, hard work + conviction = winning formula. Take today to do you. It’s my birthday challenge for you.

Thank you for being the beacon of light, never compromising who you are. I love you with a fierce in breakable love. I wish you so much success and joy. I just want your soul to sing my friend. I know that day is soon.

This note may seem random, and borderline bonkers but it is from the heart.  I love you and wish you a fantastic day today, joyful and knowing that Ma Bester is watching over and under you!!

Ngiyakuthanda mngani wam!!!”

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Penny King

Words alone are not enough to express how happy I am you are celebrating another year of your life! My wish for you on your birthday is you are and will always be happy and healthy! Don’t ever change Muholi.

Hope you are having a wonderful happy, healthy birthday and many more to come. Happy Birthday Baba Muholi ukhule ungakhokhobi

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Lerato Dumse

Another birthday, another opportunity from God to grow. Spending time with you one realises that, you are strong, you are loving, you are passionate and you have genuine care. The role you play in so many of our lives makes your existence in this earth so valuable. You are a support system to many, and to some, their ONLY support system. Like a real leader you sometimes carry the load of others and still remain strong. Hope you realise the gigantic role and contribution you make to the black community everywhere you go.To me you are a mentor, colleague, teacher, mother, father and a friend wrapped in one and that’s why I love you so much.
Happy Born Day Baba, Sisonke!

_____________________

Linda Nonkululeko Mankazana

Your mother Im sure she was full of smile on this day because another blessing was brought into her life. I hate death. I miss my mother every minute of my life. I hope your day was and is still good for you. Ukhule nentliziyo yakho emyoli. God has blessed me with you.

________________________

Neo Ntsoma

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Christie Van Zyl

My dearest friend,

Yes Muholi, you are my dear friend. It is strange for me to be friends
with a 40+ woman of your stature. Abantu abafuni ukuguga.
Zanele you have been a solid foundation in my life, from the moment we met in
2011. You showed me the little things that allow for me to be free of
my limitations. It’s relieving to be able to have at least one aspect
of myself to feel good about when I’m feeling low ; with you in my
life, they’ve nothing but multiplied and continue still today.

Had I not met you through our dear friend Lebo Mashifane, I wouldn’t
have been able to build myself up out of the dark holes that my
problems often leave me in. Meeting you has allowed me to explore my
creativity, talents, skills and most importantly myself.

At times I have been overwhelmed with the kind of great things that
you have trusted me with, but it has done me great wonders in building
my courage, self-esteem & identity. I recently realised that I have
always been worried about what you expect and what you will think of
me if I don’t meet your expectations. You have never given up on me
though, no matter how much I felt I’d disappointed you – I Keep going
because of your omnipresent love.

I don’t know what passion this is that connects us, but every time I am
at my lowest you call me and give me tasks that remind me why I
shouldn’t be tied down by negativity. I thank you and I love you
always.

You are a great mentor, sister, artist and fighter. May you continue
to remain a blessing and blessed too.

________________________________

Arthur Baradzanwa Mataruse

Happy Birthday Zanele! Meeting you has been a special event in my life.
May your work keep speaking volumes in its subtle beauty!
May your light stay bright!
Love

______________________________

Papiso Matsau

Today I celebrate you… you showed up in my life when I was flat-lining and stirring in my soul at the same time. You made the noise make sense and gave me a breath of fresh air to a jaded heart. Shortly before I met you I started having a series of dreams about a martial arts boot camp where my instructor wore orange/gold material… the series of dreams ended in a long lesson of a barter system. Where I was shown how to get what my spirit craves without being a slave to money… I am still letting that sink into my conscious. You showed up as a personification of that system and so much more…. You’re appreciated. loved. healing. inspiring. and loved some more…

peace Z…
may your Earth days multiply to keep blessing Us.

________________________________

June Barrett 1999 till now, I’ve watched you grown into this amazing Artist/ Activist Phenomenal person.
Thank you Zanele Muholi for all you are doing through your work for all LGBTI PEOPLE everywhere. Viva muholi!!!

_______________________________

Collen Mfazwe

Our relationship means a lot to me and since I ever met you my life has change a lot for the better, I was just a person but now I’m a person with profession and
also your words make me stronger everyday, I thank you but I thank the woman who gave birth to such a wonderful loud person a lot. Its like you took me from
the streets and put me in paradise to everyone who see you with that different Eye I just wish they can just sleep with you in the same matras not bed cause you don’t own one, so that they know you better and feel your love and enjoy that meal you’ll be serving cause you don’t want to see people hungry cause the
won’t work and blame it on hunger. I don’t see my life without you that why I apologies when I wrong you. Thanks Muholi Muholi. Happy birthday

________________________________

Athi Patra Ruga

Umdala mpintshiiiii !
I love you and thanks for being my hero.
love to Val …
love to the world on your day.

_______________________________

Luh Cele

“Please allow me to be the last one to say, OLWAKHO LOLUSUKU!
To me you are a chosen generation you were born after Nelson Mandela’s birthday. You share the same month with the legend that has made history that will never fade away.

You are possible Zanele Muholi. The way that you put things into perspective made the image of the real you. Your critical thinking gives every homosexual in South Africa the hope of love, freedom and the acceptance on grounds. We are hoping and praying that heterosexuals could accept homosexuals by not raping and killing them.

Every time when I go outside deep down I know that we “homosexuals” have an activist who stands for us in every country that you reach.
You portray our images and people get to know the true life that we are living here Emzansi.

Please keep our flag flying all the time Muholi.
I really appreciate your work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY YOU LEAD US TO MANY MORE YEARS TO COME!”

____________________________

Lebohang Mashifane 

I’d like to begin by saying HEPI BEFDAY!!! I met you and I became part of your 1st series of your lifetime project (Faces and Phases).
After that you took me under your wing to mentor me. You returned into my life when I was at my lowest point and you raised me back up, like dust risen by the rhythm of dancing feet. I can never thank you enough for all that you have done for me in my life, it even makes my own mother happy to have your existence in our current lifetime. You are a strong conqueror in my eyes and a great teacher. I have learned so much from you and you have been patient with me… I even shared a cell with you in sea point police station… I appreciate every single moment of my first so called ”arrest” incident. I’m am privileged to know you the way I do. Not everyone has had the opportunity to step into your living space, shared a meal you, and even shared a bed with you!!! The more I get to know you, the more I love you. The more I love you is the more I miss you. I enjoy every hug I share with you and every knowledge I learn from you. Please don’t ever give up on your strength.

May you live for more years and continue making history/urstory I LOVE YOU ZANELE!!

__________________________

Yaya Mavundla

I won’t lie and say the first time I met you I said “That’s my dream” like Beyoncé & Jamie Fox on their duet, especially that I didn’t know much about you.

But as time went by, I knew I wanted people to read all about our work in the papers.
Today I listen to Emeli Sande – Next to you and think of you and I know we both relate to the lyrics.

Yesterday I was looking at my Durban pictures we shot at the beach with the girls and it rang in my mind that I had spent so much time in Durban but never had such experience and I thank you for that ♡ and thanking you on behalf of the other girls.

I’m laughing at how many years it took me to realise who am I really am.
I looked at the mirror this morning and I was like damn, why did it take so long for this transformation to happen?
It feels good!
I’m happy and that’s because of you. Thank You.

You introduced me to so many people in such a short space of time.
Some of them are bad people, I can’t lie… I just can’t stop thinking about them.
Some of them are good people whom I know are for keeps.
You introduced me into sharing space with a group of people and all I can say it wasn’t my best experience, at all but I am great full for the experience.

Working with you was fun, exciting and exhausting. You would step on my toes, get annoyed and smile again, it was all-natural! We made a great team and still do.
Thank You for teaching me it is owk to be myself, for teaching me it is important to document my life and doing it for other people.
With all that said, I wish you all the best in life.
God bless you and Happy Birthday. ♡

________________________________

Zodwa Zwane

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. “ Jeremiah 1:5.

Mine mandi kuwe.Siyabulela ku Thixo ngobomi bakho..Nga u Thixo aqhubekele qho ukukunika amava nobucushe. Nga akukhusele phansi kwamaphiko akhe akulonde bese ekwandisele nemikhawulo yakho. Happy birthday. God bless you and stay bless. Namaste.

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Teekay Khumalo

Happy birthday Muholi, May God bless you with many more years to come mfethu akugcine nje.uqhubeke nokwenza imisebenzi yakho emihle usebenzela i Lgbti community.Imisebenzi yakho mfana ingaphezu kweminyaka yakho.
Mina nje ngiqala ukukwazi bekuwu 2004.

Nalapho wawu thuthukisa yona le community mfethu usipha ulwazi ngokuthatha izithombe. Sifundiseka ukuthu uma kanjan uma ufuna isthombe sakho sibe ilento oyifunayo.Wawungapheli mandla ukt asiyazi kahle lendaba yezi thombe. Kodwa ngothando nentshesekelo yokuth labantu Ufuna siluthole ulwazi. Futhi nje wasiqeqesha ngempela Muholi mfeth wawuse Behind the musk ngaleso skhathi.Ingakho ngith imisenzi yakho mfeth ingaphezu kweminyaka yakho mfana.Nomoya wakho owodwa ongashitshi. Mina nje selokhu ngakwazi uyinto eyodwa,awukaze wazibona usungcono kunomunye.Uhlale mfethu unjena akugcine uNkulunkulu qhubeke nokusebenzela uyiphakamise iLGBTI community.God bless you mfana hope u will enjoy ur day

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Christina Dominguez

Happy birthday my dear friend! I hope you realize today what a gift you are to this universe! Much love to you on this day and everyday

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Thulielove Sodumo

And then today a wonder was born..
A wonder that would bring change to the wonderful world of difference and adventure…

You are God sent in many of our lives Zanele Muholi.
You keep on making this world a better place for every young queer.
You keep reintroducing to the world of wonderful things.
Through you we believe, we live and conquer.

May you be blessed ion abundance…
May you continue to be a breath of fresh air.
Guess this is me wishing you a splendid birthday..

Keep the torch of peace, love and tolerance alight all day and everyday!

Love you mwah
Be kind..always.

________________________________

Sebenzile Nkosi

2012 was a crazy year for me. Earlier that year you came by and took photos, I had only met you the year before and we always looked forward to seeing you again, but this time it was different. You took pictures of me too. I never knew before then that I was in the same room and always felt so invisible. Later that year we went to your exhibition and I love a night out to see the orchestra, but this was a new highlight for me.

I got really sick and had to have my appendix removed. My family came and they were so cold.
You guys came in and out,always so busy. Then one day, a day I will never forget is when you came to the hospital and stayed the whole day. Again I didn’t feel so invisible.

Every time we meet you always encourage me to write. My stories are not always happy but telling them has been the best way of letting go.

Thanx you again for helping me with my fees. I can’t even begin to show you my gratitude. And over and over you have shown me and my family more kindness than any person it have ever met.

Ngathi Nkulunkulu angakubusisa akwandisele netinsuku takho

Ngibonga kakhulu

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Lindeka Qampi

Happy Birthday my friend. May God bless you for sharing yourself, opportunities, earnings and Shelter. Not even the government has been able to do for us, what you have done. You have developed us and respected us at the same time. No one can do what you are doing. Sometimes I feel like crying because no one opens their pockets for us, no one makes you travel. I am now a facilitator because of you. You made me gain my confidence back. My background was bad but you did not see that. You boosted my spirits and made me have a voice. Even when others undermine me, you mention my name and you value me. You uplift me and you continue to develop me. Thank you for inviting me to work with the children from Aurora. Together we will change the world. I respect your vision of using photography to change the world as well as making it a career. God Bless you.

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Xana Nyilenda

Just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday I’m very proud and
happy to say I have a friend and colleague like you in my life. You’ve
taught me what hard work is – of which I’m still striving towards,
-helped me understand that family isn’t just those who share the same
blood as you and that with the right attitude any dream can be
achieved. I especially enjoy your straight forward sense of humour
although it can get frustrating at times I think it’s one of the best
parts makes you Muholi.
Stay grounded and as humble and funny as you
are, enjoy your day and may you be blessed with many more to come.

Much Love

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Charmain Carrol

Good Morning Muholi

Born of greatness
Born of royalty
Born of compassion
Born of peace
Born of beauty
So have yourself a wonderful day full of love and lots of laughter.

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Ellen Eisenman

my dear friend

its been 6 years since we met via email, introduced by Clarissa. ours has been a rewarding relationship for both of us. as for me, i can honestly say your work as an activist continues to inspire me, and i’m thankful to be part of the continuation of your work, art, and life.

i’m sending some words that i hope you can relate to. the narrator is you.

love, ellen.

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Gabrielle Le Roux

In the more than ten years that we have been friends and fellow activists, there were times (this is long ago now when you were not so well-known) when we talked about our work and it felt like we could understand each other’s positions more closely than anyone else. I treasured those conversations as they made me feel less isolated in what I was trying to do. As your star rose, you have less time for that sort of connection with me but you still offer such valuable advice: “Work with the positive people who love and respect your work, don’t spend time on the haters”.

You have shown me great kindness and generosity along the way at home and abroad. Thank you.

I appreciated our joint exhibition this year, thanks for sharing the space with me at WAM.

Don’t talk of dying, the world needs you Zanele. I wish you long life, strength, good health and the ability to stay centred in the midst of being so busy.

Your work is of global importance and I’m so happy that the world is seeing that and seeing you in all your beauty in your lifetime. Don’t let it consume you or burn you out my friend.

Happy birthday Zanele!
Your life and example and friendship is a gift.

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Nompumelelo FoFa Mamqwathi

Happy Birthday my Beautiful Friend!
I don’t know how many times I re-wrote this letter in my head, extra brain lol mybee am too nervous

Thank you for being a comforter that’s filled with inspiration
You gave me unlimited hope to never limit myself and pushed my energy to always strive to beautify Abstract
It feels like yesterday when I was knew to my Art and emerged to a Curator
Because of your support and networks I managed to host a powerful exhibition, even though my Senior Curator never thought I will pull it through

Thank you for teaching me about the power of thy self beauty, forgiveness
Your iconographic membrane will always leave an unforgettable mark in Wisdom History

I hope my letter finds you still fresh in Paris

Keep pushing, never stop inspiring
Much love
Stay blessed

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Ntokozo Morgan Nzaca
kuyintokozo ukuthi unkulunkulu usakuhlengile futhi usakugcinile.Wena unguthandiweyo wakhe. wazi wakupha nesipho esikwenze ukuthi waziwe umuhlaba wonke. ngalokho umubonge njalo. izolo umama Esther wabeleka ingane enhle, enothando nesipho sokufundisa futhi enozwelano nabantu. lapho akhona uyaziqhenya ngawe. ezulwini uyachoma ngawe . ngithembe ube nosuku oluhle mngani wami. kuningi engikufunde kewena futhi kuningi engisazokufunda. ubusiseke unkulunkulu akugcine. love you big bro.
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Zanele Muholi … Per our chat…
Here’s some herstorical context to our friendship to remind you, that no matter where you are in the world (and send me a pic of the Eiffel Tower please?) …
You have people who know you and love you.

1. I opened your very first email account. In Melville, think it was 2000.  Womenonwomen days

2. We went to the World Conference Against Racism together and every day you took the money you made from selling the first square edition on WOMYN and had it printed on a white vest you bought at the Wheel and sold it to conference delegates. You’ll remember Nomfundo Wakwa Luphondwana and Phumi Mtetwa and Thokozani Ndaba were with us. N was bonding with her ancestors. It was stressful. Also, you took us to your mom’s work and she gave you a rainbow jersey

3. You took me to a women’s prison to give the lesbians there old bottles of shampoo and soap we got from Viv.. I had just met her. Viv bought us the car to go to the conference, but couldn’t see how it was gonna justify the revenue I needed to run the mag.
4. You inspired Viv to sponsor the Survivors.. The lesbian soccer team in KwaThema … She joined the team… I watched. Remember?

There is so much, so many stories, so many people, but remember this: I love you ..
We love you.. Whether you’re a famous artist or an unemployed no-name brand.
We got your back. We, your family.
Happy Birthday. Xxxx

____________________________

Le Sishi
“Wow Mr muholi, ur mum was blessed by receiving an ambitious and loving soul.”
___________________________

Dear Professor Zanele Muholi

“I received your e-mail last night, it kept me thinking and noticing that it was your birthday I seriously didn’t know what to say . Reading your e-mail gave me butterflies specially the line that says
“Tell the world the truth, do not cry when you hear of my passing but celebrate those special moments we shared.”
In most cases people who say such words are those who are close or see that their time of crossing over is getting closer.
Honestly it kept me worried and I asked myself many questions like what’s on your mind? Are you ok?

Zanele came to my life as a blessing in disguise, I’m not buying your face nor begging anything from you but telling the world the truth as you wish.

When you came in my life you found me in a tough situation, a situation of confusion, pain, giving up, loneliness and specially when my family abandoned me.

You thought me to respect every human kind, to stand up for myself and be as confident as possible. I used to doubt myself but you made me realise that, There’s only one Candice Nkosi and I should live my life, like There’s no tomorrow.

You made me realise that life is not about me, but the legacy and/or mark I make in people’s lives.

If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t understand my gender or sexual identity. You changed my life by being open and free of imvelaphi yami, my roots, ubutabane bani.

You helped my climbing a second step of success.
I met young active beautiful and warm hearted people all because of you, you introduced me to people whom I can proudly say they are my family to name a few, Yaya Mavundla, Mama Lindeka, Xana Nyilenda, Le Sishi, sis Do from uMlazi P section, Vukani, Charmain Carrol, Lynne Carrol, Nqobile Zungu the list is endless.

All the fun times I’ve experienced with you and the Inkanyiso crew played a very significant role in my life. Those small things that people take for granted I cherished them and they’ll forever be part of my story.

Through it all, Zanele Muholi changed my life by seeing things in a different way and take every different person into account. I’ll forever respect and give thanks to God for such a blessing of meeting this unique unexplainable soul.
Happy Birth Day Muholi you are truly a leader like your surname.

“Qhubeke njalo bahole ondlebe zikhayilanga ezizweni.”

- Ms Candice Nkosi

_____________________

I would like to wish you a great year ahead of you and many more years. A person like you deserves to live to see a 100 years on this earth and more. I thank God for sending you into my life. Now I truly know the meaning of God doesn’t send one flying Angels but they are the people right next to you. From the first day we met you have looked out for me more than family has ever had. I am glad God Blessed you with a big heart to care and love strangers.

I know for a fact that no matter what, I can always count on you. It feels great to know that I have that one person who jump through hoops if need be to help me.

I sure Hope God will keep you longer on this earth, so one day I can show how much I appreciate you.

Ngiyakuthanda Lume J

- Sade Langa

_______________________
 

More messages to be included…

My reflection on our 2012 Paris trip that we, Thokozani Football Club (TFC) had.

It all started at the Thokozani football club that I joined voluntarily in 2008, hence I’m proud of myself for making such a good decision.

Firstly I would like to convey my gratitude to Cecile Chatrain, Veronica Noseda (who initiated the plan for us to be in Paris) and their generous connected to Zanele Muholi who is friends with them. I cannot forget TFC manager, Lizzy Muholi because without their dedication to our team we wouldn’t be able to fulfil the dream of going to Paris. Most importantly and not forgetting, the Equipe Les Degommeuses for their potential support that they’ve given us.
I have played soccer several teams and I have been rewarded with lot of certificates of appreciation, medals and trophies but with Thokozani I have found love, support and a home.
In 2012 we went to Paris to play against the Equipe Les Degommeuses. That tour to Ile-de France will never fade away in our thoughts, it has been permanently emblazoned on our subconscious minds believe me. It was the best feeling and every homosexual would die to have a chance to experience it.

Days were moving pretty fast, the warmth and love that we were receiving in every workshop or the meeting with the youth from France at the Cybercrips was outstanding”

We have carried the spirit of Thokozani Qwabe whom will always be loved and missed. She is a legend to be remembered for being true to her sexual orientation and for “coming out” as a female homosexual hence she was brutally killed for that. Living your life by being out about your sexual orientation doesn’t mean that you need to be redefined by someone. We don’t need to be “defined” we know who we are and we are happy we need no conversional methods to cure us because this is not a disease, we are not sick and not confused.

At the arrival in Paris round about 10 am, that moment of putting your foot in another country, with different atmospheric pressure and different settings, is an extra ordinary feeling. Thank you for the warm welcome at the Charles De Gaulle airport.

Days were moving pretty fast, the warmth and love that we were receiving in every workshop or the meeting with the youth from France at the Cybercrips was outstanding”

On our first day, we went to a music festival, Solidays, which was against human immunodeficiency virus/acquired Immunodeficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS). There were many games which were conveying health education messages on how to prevent HIV/AIDS, which was the purpose of the festival. When I looked at my watch it was 20:25 and it was still hot because the sun was still up. I was thinking that back at home, everybody was tired from the long day, relaxing inside their homes and watching Generations, and that the sun had set.

Days were moving pretty fast, the warmth and love that we were receiving in every workshop or the meeting with the youth from France was outstanding. I have never felt such a thing in South Africa.
The screening of the documentary, Difficult Love (2010) and ensuring debate with the French citizens was highly noted and appreciated by the TFC team.

Thembela with TFC members in Paris, June 2012.
Photo by Laurence Prat

Nompilo and Thembela ‘Terra’ 

During the game at Parc de Prins stadium in Paris, 2012.
Thanks to Foot for Love organisers

Thank you for the support. I wouldn’t forget the free tour guide visit to the Eiffel Tower,  the Louvre Museum, and the park where the body of Sarah Baartman’s body was confined and on show for public before her body was repatriated to its rightful resting place.

I watched UEFA champions league and I see Paris Saint-German football club (PSG) playing at the “Parc des Princes” (Le Parc) stadium all the time but I never knew that I would be given a chance to play in the stadium for 90 minutes. I just smile and my heart jumps each time I think of it. I always make sure that everybody gets to know that I played at that stadium.

A big thank you goes to all Equipe Degommeuses, Laurence Prat, Paris based photographer who took our beautiful photographs during and after the match.
I cannot forget Lesbiennes of Color (LOCs); the Family Planning in Paris, where the TFC stayed overnight;  the Lesbiennes of colors, who organized the lesbian festival on Friday and Mimi (owner of Rosa Bonheur) and the team, who organized the party at the bar in the Park..
Violette & Co library that hosted Muholi’s talk, the Région Ile-de-France, the Crips Ile-de-France, the City of Paris and everybody who made our visit to Paris, France successful.

Last but not least, Paris Pride was well organised and it really symbolised the acceptance and support from heterosexuals to homosexuals. I was quite surprised by the number of people who attended the march. That was nice and I already miss walking down the streets of Paris because I have never been so free and so not worried about discrimination, biphobia and homophobia. I love Paris, infact I love Parisians.

Please don’t forget us. We, at TFC will never forget you.
Love

Nokulunga ‘Luh’ Cele

Related links

2013 June 6: Reviving the spirit of Thokozani

Text by Lerato Dumse
Photos by Lindeka Qampi and Zanele Muholi

It is a Sunday morning and like in most townships, the streets of Daveyton township are a buzz of activity.
Many carry bibles, making their way to different churches.

In the more quite section of Railway, a blue and white tent stands in a house at Victor Drive, and inside a handful of mourners have gathered.

Strangers, activists, relatives and friends came pay their last respects as they remembered and said their goodbyes.

They came to bid farewell to Thembelihle Sokhela (28), the latest black lesbian, who was brutally murdered in a neighborhood she called home, after moving from her birth place in Kwa-Zulu Natal four years ago.

The funeral service of Lihle is led by members of Shembe church, dressed in their white regalia. They were singing their slow paced hymns.

In the dying minutes of the service, some LGBTI members who had gathered outside the tent (having arrived when all seats were taken), started singing political songs, drowning out the pastor’s voice, while he tried to close the first part of the funeral service with prayer.

The group, much smaller in size compared with other South African funerals of murdered black lesbians such as Eudy Simelane (31), Noxolo Nogwaza (24), Mandisa Mbambo (34), Sihle Sikoji (19), Dudu Zozo (26) and recently Gift Makau (23), then proceeded to march halfway to Phumlani Cemetery.

The second part of the funeral still featured its share of competition between mourners who preferred to sing while others poured soil to close the grave, while the Shembe pastors wanted to read scriptures from the bible.

Lihle’s younger brother, Nkosinathi Sokhela (22) spoke after the funeral and said he had a very strong bond with his sister, having grown up together.

He describes her as a responsible person, who took care of them as younger siblings, and pushed him to study.

He shared his fondest memories of his sister and how she used to give him his baths as a little boy. Adding that she was currently taking care and looked after a relative who is ill.

Nkosinathi also spoke about the different side he saw from his father (who was homophobic), the day Lihle eventually got the courage to come out to him.

“He just gave her a hug and told her everything will be well”, remembers Nkosinathi.

He said he was shocked to hear of Lihle’s senseless killing, five days after meeting with her at Carlton Centre.

“It was after her job interview, having completed her training for a security guard certificate,” he said and concluded by saying the family wants justice.

The funeral comes three days after a memorial service  was held at the same venue.

Lungile Dladla Skosana said, she is touched by what happened to Lihle as they share a similar experience.

Choosing to look at herself as a victor, rather than victim of hate crime. Lungi believes she survived to assist others.

Some members of the Women’s Ecumenical Conference, which is part of the South African Council of Churches, pledged their support for the LGBTI community.

The group is made up of mothers with homosexual and others with heterosexual children, among them Mally Simelane, mother of the late Eudy Simelane.

Representing the group at the memorial service, Thabisile Msezane said they educate and support parents who reject their homosexual children, because of being in denial.

She spoke about their campaign, “My child is my child, irrespective of sexual orientation” and reminded the LGBTI community that they are “fully protected by the SA Constitution.”

Thabisile said they are aware of the challenges faced by the LGBTI community.

She continued to say, “as mother, we say enough is enough, no more hate crimes.”

The mother concluded by saying it begins with parents and the names they call homosexual children in the community.

Related articles

2014 Sept. 26: Man appears in court for lesbian murder

and

2014 Sept. 21: Black Sunday for black lesbians in South Africa

Photo album by Ntombifuthi Shabalala from Aurora Girls High School

My first visit to eKapa for the Cape Town Month of Photography where we presented our projects at Labia Theatre amongst other experts.

Colourful homes, a good view in Muizenberg beach…

Get yourself wet my chomies…

My friends friends are experiencing the beach for the first time since we do not have one in Johannesburg…

My friends from Young Female Photographers (Aurora Girls High School), Nhlanhla Maluleka (left) and Mthabiseni Mbhele (right)…

A surfer in Fish Hoek beach…

Stillness…

Colour heals… even beach goers…

Related links on Aurora Girls High School  -  2014 PhotoXP project

2014 July 16: Through the eyes of young women photographers
http://inkanyiso.org/2014/07/16/2014-july-16-through-the-eyes-of-young-women-photographers/

and

2014 July 12: From Soweto to Paris for the love of photography

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/07/13/2014-july-12-between-collaborations-and-collectivism/

and

2014 July 13: ” Give children cameras not candies”

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/07/13/2014-july-13-give-children-cameras-not-candies/

and

2014 Aug.1: InterGenerational conversation with current and future stars

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/08/06/2014-aug-1-intergenerational-conversation-with-current-and-future-stars/

and

2014 Aug. 30: Young aspiring photographers experimenting lithography

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/01/2014-aug-30-young-aspiring-photographers-experimenting-lithography/

and

2014 Aug. 30: Insightful analysis from the guest speaker

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/03/2014-aug-30-insighful-guest-visit/

and

2014 Aug. 28: Fine Artists on importance of being creative

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/10/2014-aug-28-fine-artists-on-importance-of-being-creative/

2014 Sept. 8: Manku and her niece buried next to each other

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/11/2014-sept-8-manku-and-her-niece-buried-next-to-each-other/
MORE DETAILS

Mail & Guardian made a mention of some yfl two weeks ago and the link is:
http://mg.co.za/article/2014-09-18-15-significant-sa-photographers-to-know

Previous PhotoXP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCywB_Yw5v8

Thanks once again.

© Photos by Zanele Muholi (2014)

2013 winners in the different categories are as follows:

1. Women in Indigenous Art: Peki Emmelinah “Nothembi” Mkhwebane

2. Promotion of Language and Story Telling: Nthabiseng Sibanda

3. Creative Writing: Devarakshanam Betty Govinden

4. Poetry: Myesha Jenkins

5. Fashion Design and Innovation: Vanessa Gounden

6. Creative Photography: Zanele Muholi

7. Painting: Catherine Christie

8. Sculpture: Nandhipa Mntambo

9. Dance: Tebogo Kgobokoe

10. Opera: Pretty Yende

11. Theatre: Thembi Mtshali-Jones

12. Women In Jazz: Siya Makuzeni

13. Music: Simphiwe Dana

14. Promotion of Arts in the Media: Lore Watterson

15. Arts Ambassador: Lira

16. Women in New Media: Pam Warne

17. Architecture and Creative Design: Kate Otten

18. Women in Film: Helena Spring

19. Comedy: Tumi Morake

20. Miriam Makeba Achievement Award: Sathima Bea-Benjamin

by Lerato Dumse

Sthembiso Yende made her third appearance at the Tsakane Magistrates court on October 27, facing a charge of murder.

The 20-year-old is accused of fatally stabbing Phumzile Nkosi (27) a lesbian mother of two boys.

Sthembiso has been held at Sun City Women’s Prison in Johannesburg, following her first appearance at the same court on October 14.

The bail application process was delayed due to Sthembiso opting for a private defence instead of a state lawyer.

Sthembiso returns to court next month, for the start of her bail hearing.

Miriam Nkosi and Themba Nkosi, Phumzile’s mother and brother, don’t mince their words and make it clear that they want to see justice served, calling for a 25year prison sentence, which is the minimum sentence for murder convictions.

Themba said it is alleged that Sthembiso lives in the next street from their home, even though the murder occurred in another section of their township.

Her arrest coincided with the victim’s funeral on October 12, surrounded by a lot of confusion caused by the different names used to identify the suspect.

Although details of why Phumzile was stabbed are still sketchy, Miriam recalled how she arrived on the scene in Extension 19, to find her youngest child’s lifeless body lying face up on the street.

She says it’s only when she turned her over, that she saw a single stab wound on her upper body.

Themba has been making the trips to court alone, as his mother doesn’t believe she is strong enough to attend with him.

He said losing his sister has been very hard on him, as they were inseparable and did a lot of things together.

Thabo Molefe appeared in court charged with the murder of Lihle Sokhela

While at the Benoni Regional two court, Thabo Molefe made it clear that he does not wish to apply for pay, opting to remain at Modderbee Prison.

He cited the fear for his life as his reason for choosing to remain behind bars, charged with the murder of Lihle Sokhela, a lesbian woman from Daveyton.

Judge Mitzi Schutte told Thabo during his court appearance October 23, that the investigation was concluded and prosecution was satisfied.

The case is likely to be transferred to the High Court in Pretoria, after the National Prosecuting Authority sent a letter requesting fir the case to be transferred.

Thabo who was out on parole for rape when the murder occurred, is said to have handed himself over to police, while his mother made the gruesome discovery of Lihle’s body in his room last month.

Members of the LGBT community and the Treatment Action Campaign came in numbers to attend the court case, which lasted less than 5 minutes, before being adjourned until December.

Previous article

2014 Sept. 28:  An emotional farewell for the recent victim of hate crime

and

2014 Oct. 13:  Mother of the recently murdered lesbian demands justice

 The Friends of Education of The Museum of Modern Art present

Conversations: Among Friends, A Perspective on South Africa featuring artist ZANELE MUHOLI and actress NOMONDE MBUSI moderated by Judith B. Hecker, Assistant Curator, Department of Drawings and Prints

Monday, November 17, 2014
7:00 pm program | 8:15 pm reception

Doors open at 6:45 pm

 The Celeste Bartos Theater (T3)
The Lewis B. and Dorothy Cullman Education and Research Building
The Museum of Modern Art
4 West 54 Street

 Tickets ($35 General Admission, $20 Members, $12 Students) may be purchased at The Museum information and film desks, online at MoMA.org, or through The Friends of Education Office.

Presented by The Friends of Education of The Museum of Modern Art as part of the series Conversations: Among Friends, this evening’s program features a conversation between artist Zanele Muholi and actress, director, and playwright Nomonde Mbusi, moderated by Judith B. Hecker, MoMA’s assistant curator for drawings and prints. The program will focus on Muholi’s work as a “visual activist” dedicated to issues of race, gender, and sexuality; and will reflect on this year’s 20th anniversary of democracy in South Africa—still a work in progress. Muholi is best known for her photographic series Faces and Phases, five of which are included in MoMA’s collection.

Begun in 2006, this series portrays black members of the LGBTI community in South Africa and around the world, giving voice to their stories and displacing conventional perceptions. Nomonde Mbusi, one of Muholi’s participants in Faces and Phases and an artist and activist in her own right, joins the discussion. Following the program, guests are invited to continue the conversation at an intimate reception catered by Fantasy Fare in The Cullman Mezzanine. Muholi’s newest book, Zanele Muholi: Faces and Phases 2006–2014 (2014) will be available for purchase and signing by the artist.

Zanele Muholi was born in Umlazi township in Durban, South Africa, and currently lives in Johannesburg. Prior to her photographic journeys, she worked as a human rights activist, raising issues facing black lesbian women in South Africa.

In 2009 she founded Inkanyiso, an organization centered on visual arts, activism, media, and advocacy. Muholi studied at the Market Photo Workshop in Johannesburg, and graduated from Ryerson University in Toronto in 2009 with an MFA in documentary media.
She is the winner of awards from the 2009 Rencontres de Bamako African Photography Biennial; the 2013 Carnegie International; and recipient of a 2013 Prince Claus Award.
Muholi’s work has been featured in the 55th Venice Biennale; Documenta 13; the 29th São Paulo Biennial; and has been shown at prestigious museums worldwide. Her work can be found in numerous museum collections including The Museum of Modern Art, New York; San Francisco Museum of Modern Art; South African National Gallery, Cape Town, South Africa; Centre Georges Pompidou, Paris, France; Tate Modern, London, United Kingdom; The Menil Collection, Houston; and The Walther Collection, Neu-Ulm, Germany among others. Her award-winning documentary Difficult Love (2010) has been shown at film festivals around the world.

Nomonde Mbusi was trained in dramatic arts at the University of Zululand. Since 1997, she has performed in numerous theater productions and is best known for her role as Fikile in Flipping the Script, a four women show on gender-based violence (2004-07). In 2004 she co-founded Insika Productions with Muholi, where she worked as artistic director and facilitator.  Through Insika, she organized creative arts healing workshops for women survivors of violence in organizations such as POWA-People Opposing Women Abuse and FEW-Forum for the Empowerment of Women. Her recent acting accomplishments include the lead role of Brenda on SABC 1’s drama Usindiso-Redemption, and Thando in Dr. John Kani’s play Nothing but The Truth at the Soweto Theatre, along with several other television and radio performances.

Judith B. Hecker, Assistant Curator in the Department of Drawings and Prints at MoMA, organized Impressions from South Africa, 1965 to Now: Prints from The Museum of Modern Art (2011), which featured some eighty prints, artist’s books, posters, and wall stencils by artists living in South Africa and acquired for the collection; and co-curated MoMA’s presentation of the touring exhibition William Kentridge: Five Themes (2010), authoring Trace: William Kentridge, Prints from The Museum of Modern Art on the occasion.

Image: Zanele Muholi. Self Portrait. DATE TK. Courtesy Yancey Richardson Gallery.
© 2014 Zanele Muholi;  Zanele Muholi. Nomonde Mbusi, Berea, Johannesburg (detail). 2007. Courtesy of Yancey Richardson Gallery.
© 2014 Zanele Muholi

by Sicka Star-ban

My Faces and Phases journey started in the year 2013 when I met author and visual activist, Zanele Muholi.
I, Nonkululeko Sharon Mthunzi known as Sicka Star-ban, remember her reaction when she first saw my cousin Nontuthuzelo Mduba and I.   Her exact words were “I don’t work with people under the age of 18 years”, we laughed and told her our ages.

The 2013 Mr Daveyton winners. From Left – Right: Nontuthuzelo Mduba, Lebo Magaela and Nonkululeko Sharon Mthunzi.

A lot was going on that year. It was our first time entering Mr Lesbian Daveyton and my cousin Ntuthu walked away with the title of First Prince and I with the title Mr Personality. It was also the year I started my music career, and not forgetting that it was the beginning of my Faces and Phases journey. My first photo shoot was the day after the pageant at my home in Daveyton right along with Nontuthuzelo Mduba, Lebogang Magaela who was Mr Lesbian Daveyton 2013 and we were in our formal wear. At first I was nervous because I was not used to huge cameras but I soon relaxed.

Muholi told me to relax and so I did and soon got used to it. From thereon, we took amazing portraits. In the Faces and Phases book, two of my pictures are featured, one which was taken on the day of my first shoot with Muholi and the other which was taken at my home in my bedroom while in my traditional/ancestral clothes. In my hand I carried ishoba lamadlozi. I love how my two portraits contradict each other to the viewer but I am a traditional healer as well as a musician/composer. I straddle two worlds that most people deem highly impossible to mix. They say however that I am the living proof that now can be steeped in their traditions and culture but at the same living and creating in the 21^st century, a testament that both elements can exist.

I have many goals, hopes and dreams – some which I have attained – but I never pictured myself in a book. To me this is extraordinarily beyond what I had set out to achieve in 2014.
2014 is my year because I was crowned Mr Lesbian Daveyton 2014, I am featured in the Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014) book and my music career is taking gigantic leaps. I had the honor of composing the Faces and Phases song, which I performed at the successful book launch.

Previous links

2014 July 10: My remarkable Durban experience

… work in progress.

Zanele Muholi working with Valerie Thomas.
Where:  Belleville, Paris.
When:  Dec. 2014
What:  Having conversations with inner self allowing to be seen without shame
Why:  Because ‘races matters’ sometimes and gender is really ‘complex’
Period:  365 day series.
Currently title:  Ma-ID (2014/15)
Likely to be re-titled in Zulu language.
Camera used:  Canon 6D (50mm and 85mm) lenses on Manfrotto (K301) tripod

to be continued.

Related links

2014 July 17: Ack B(L)ACK aches

and

Previous articles

2014 July 19: Paris post cards from Cite Des Arts

and

2014 July 15:  “Intombi” – Photo of the day

by Lerato Dumse

Zanele Muholi’s family and friends gathered for the Durban instalment of Faces and Phases 2006-14 book launch, hosted on Friday 12 December, at W section Cinema Hall, Umlazi.

The award-winning photographer who was born in Umlazi has invested the past eight years engaging with black lesbians and Transgender individuals from different South African provinces and beyond, capturing their black and white portraits.

Muholi said the book is meant to be part of the 20 years of democracy that South Africa celebrates in 2014.

Load shedding which has become a thorn in many South African’s lives threatened to disrupt the event when the lights went off at the hall without prior warning.

However, candles which were prepared as back up to the country’s unreliable electricity system saved the day, ensuring that the launch goes ahead as planned.

Muholi landed back in SA on Friday morning to attend the launch, after travelling for a month, hosting launches in New York, Stockholm, Amsterdam and France. The first book launch was in Germany in September 2014.

Four of the 250 portraits in the book, feature participants from Umlazi who were invited to be part of the special event, which saw Muholi celebrating her work at home.

People braved the rain to be part of the intimate event, which was full of heartfelt speeches from the audience and panel.

Muholi thanked the guests for coming, sending out a special thanks to her family. She reminded the audience that some Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) people don’t get support from their families, while hers is very understand. Despite her relationship with her big biological family, Muholi said she continues to make new family with various people she meets through her work.

Muholi expressed her wish of going around the country and documenting voices and pictures of people like her. She said Durban has the potential to show the world it has people who are trendy because people undermine KwaZulu Natal calling it a rural area, meaning they need to work extra hard.

The artivist said as LGBTI people they never had positive images from the media and television, because even the LGBT story lines and characters on television, are played by straight people.

Muholi shared that she met many of the Durban participants through her sister, Lizzy Muholi and how she needed to share the intimate space at the launch with people she knows and who understand the work she does.

The author closed by saying the LGBTI community should teach their families how they want to be addressed, and that they deserve to be recognised and respected.

Our special guest and participant, Nondi Vokwana…

Nondi Vokwana is a participant, who travelled from Cape Town to be one of the guests in attendance. She said she is Xhosa by birth and hails from Stellenbosch Kayamandi and Gugulethu in the Western Cape.

“I want to thank Zanele, even though she is saying thank you to us. My reason for thanking her is because the book, her life and work helps to show communities that being lesbian doesn’t mean you are a drug addict, Some of us are hard workers” She went on to share that she works as a facilitator at Vision Africa, who started working with Primary School children, before moving to High School children.

Participants in Faces and Phases series:  (L-R) Nondi Vokwana, Gazi Zuma, Teekay Khumalo, Lerato Dumse and Zanele Muholi.

Our friends who came all the way from Johannesburg to give support are Sekara Mafisa and Mlungisi Msomi.

Luh Cele, Thokozani Football Club (TFC) player, nurse and academic who spoke during the book launch…

Activist and TFC player who has since started her own soccer after meeting the photographer… © Photos by Nhlaka Muholi (12/12/2014)

Vokwana praised the book for giving LGBT people good exposure, adding that she can take the book to her grandmother who is supportive, to show that she is also educated, knows her place around elders in the street and goes to church.

Such projects show that we are not only about sex, girls and alcohol.

Since being introduced to Zanele on Christmas Eve in 2011 by a friend, Vokwana has made so many  friends, including in Durban for the book launch.

“This book is our voice, to help us stand up for ourselves, when we are being criticized and told, ‘we are changing nature’. Such projects help us respond to attacks without losing our temper, Faces and Phases also reveals we are many, and there is strength in numbers.”

Vokwana said she never chose to be gay, but rather accepted the fact that she’s gay. She believes that had she tried to please her mom and community, she would have been lost.

“I knew nothing about lesbians, I only saw gay men, I’m one of the first lesbians to come out in Kayamandi and sticks and stones were thrown at me, at first it was hard, but now everyone knows me and don’t have bad things to say about me,” she added.

Older sister Lizzy Muholi said as the Muholi family they are proud and love Zanele as she has put their surname on the map.

She further proclaimed her love for LGBTI people, as many of them in Umlazi call her mom. “As the Muholi family we thank everyone who makes it possible for the work that Zanele does to be a success.

Margaret Muholi, Zanele’s eldest sister referred to her by her childhood nickname “Coca Cola” before echoing her sister’s words for their love for the LGBTI community.

Margaret thanked Zanele for her progress, bravery, and coming out to collect fellow brothers and sisters to come together and produce this book.

“What is written ensures that even great-grandchildren can read it. This life you are living has been in existence for a long time, it is just that in the past people were in hiding,” she said before returning to her seat.

Standing up to add her voice, Cindy Ndlovu, Zanele’s niece confessed that she has a lot to say. She admitted that she is thankful for the opportunity to be part of the book launch.

“I wish there were more people here today, because the is this knowledge that I’m getting today which they don’t have, leading to them being negative towards LGBTI people. I wish I could step outside and scream for them to come inside.” Said Cindy.

It was her first time attending an LGBTI event, and pleaded to be invited again.

“I have learnt so much, I didn’t even know the term butch lesbian.

We should be included in more programs so that we can be educated and we can educate fellow heterosexuals,” ended Cindy.

Snacks, wine, and drinks were then brought out and people served themselves and continued their conversation in the candle lit room, before dispersing and calling it a night.

Related links to Faces and Phases (2006-2014)

2014 Dec. 9: Exclusive book launch of Faces and Phases in Amsterdam

and

2014 Nov. 26: Faces and Phases mini book launch @ RFSL, Stockholm

and

2014 Nov. 7: Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014) book launch in Johannesburg

and

2014 Nov. 17: MoMA talk – Photos of the night

and

2014 Nov. 17: Announcement – MoMA present two best South African artists

and

2014 Sept. 26: Visual diary from Ulm, Germany

and

2014 Dec. 1: “The portraits are no longer just pictures”

and

2014 Nov. 25: Faces and Phases – embodying the freedom of being

and

2014 Nov. 24: Our Photographs have been taken

and

2014 Nov. 20: Book Review – Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014)

Lebo Leptie Phume & Zanele Muholi interviewed some special friends about their Christmas wishes.

I grew up celebrating Christmas because that’s what everyone was doing and it’s not like I had a choice not to celebrate it. Even though I never understood why we celebrated the day, I did any way. All I cared about was getting new clothes from reconciliation day (December 16) until New Years Day.

Now that I am grown up, I have a choice not to follow what was set for us, but be the person I want to be. I don’t like this time of the year, hence I don’t celebrate Christmas but I wouldn’t say no to a gift.

There are a lot of material things I would like for Christmas but they are not as important right now. My Christmas wish was to spend this holiday with the woman that is close to my heart. The woman who always finds a way to make me smile effortlessly, she is the pillar of my strength. I wished for a day full of love, laughter and joy.

We asked some acquaintances to share their Christmas wishes.

My wish for Christmas is simple but very important. I wish for internal peace in our homes, in my neighbourhood streets, in my place of worship, at work, socializing places and where I do my shopping. I wish to open my eyes and find my community at peace where no man or woman is ostracized or killed because he or she is different or is from a different country.

I wish to walk hand in hand with my partner and for the boys chilling at the corner to be at peace about it. I also wish more than anything that my wish becomes a reality and that things remain that way for eternity.
Bontle Khalo
I am growing up and starting to view things in a different light. As a kid I loved Christmas and looked forward to getting new clothes. We never received presents, so I have never looked forward to any presents. However, I started to question the relevance of Christmas Day to me as a child born in Africa. My plans for Christmas was to spend the day at a friend’s place eating, laughing and just having a good time.
Lerato Dumse
I’d really love to spend Christmas with my whole family including my fathers children, which will be thee best Christmas ever. I’ve never been able to spend such holidays with them because we all live with our mothers in different parts of Gauteng. A Christmas filled with love, laughter and peace.
Ayanda Masina

I wish for joy, peace, happiness, and love upon my family and to be happy as much as I can. To win the lottery so I can buy a house, car and I wish God can bless me with all I wished for.
May Phooko

I don’t celebrate Christmas but I do spend the holiday with family and I would love a two-day holiday.
Zandile Makhubela

All I want for Christmas is love, joy and happiness. There’s nothing I value more than family. Having people I love and care for under one roof is a gift on its own. Having a home cooked meal, prepared with love and laughter is what I want. Spending it at my late grandmothers house is a blessing because not only does it guarantee a great time, it is also a way of paying our respect to her.
Boitumelo Gumede

If things were going my way I would have spent my Christmas with my family as I usually do. I wished to be home for Christmas so I could spend it with my grandfather. I wished for a new phone or sneakers, go sleep in a hotel and get all pampered with full body massages. I also wish I could find suitable space for my business.
Bathini Dambuza

My Christmas wish is to have it humanly possible to meet Christ in person. I want to thank him personally for protecting me, giving me life and wisdom that is not acquired at any university but is rather acquired from life experiences and lessons. Mostly I’d love to have his blessings in achieving all my heart desires.
Mildred Maropefela.

If things were going my way, I would have bought myself a laptop and a new hard drive for Christmas. However, I opted to divert that money into a voice training and speech course. The reason is because it is my form of survival as an artist. The entertainment industry doesn’t take one seriously, if they do not have any formal qualification. This industry feels no need to respect an artist financially if they do not have a qualification. Cheers to 2015 making us rich and famous. Love and blessings.
Christie Van Zyl

I would like to wish my late Phumy a Merry Xmas. It really hurts to spend this Christmas without her, and I would like to receive a card from my Phumy, but I cant. Merry Xmas to her…may her soul rest in peace.

Bengizojabulisa umndeni wami. Abashana bami bengifisa ukuthi bangafikelwa umunyu wokuthi akasekho ubaba wabo. Bebezogqoka izimpahla ezintsha kusasa lomncane ngangimuthembise i biycle. Umawam’ ngangimthembise imali yokuzithengela nje into ayithandayo.

Bengizitshele ukuthi sizogqoka kahle sonke, ngiqashe imoto iyosihambisa emathuneni soyobavakashela abafowethu ababili nobaba esebelele khona laphaya eMobeni Hieght. Kuyimaye sibuya sesiphana izipho, sesidla isidlo sase mini ndawonye. Ukube bengine mali eyanele kahle bengizoba nokhisimusi omuhle.
Teekay Khumalo.

If things went my way, I would have a production house registered. What I would like to receive is production equipment (Mac book pro 15-inch with media software such as final cut pro, motion, garage band, adobe suite, sound equipment, IPad with an attachable keyboard), and a pair of all stars.
Lebo Mashifane

Wow! Ok, for me I would like to receive a new car for Christmas or a new outfit.
Pastor Z. Zungu

Related links

2013 Dec. 23: Jingle bells for Trans-Bi-Gay-Les this Christmas…

and

2013 Dec. 25: Christmas that was

“It is a story about my coming out, its more significant than any part of
my life history”

Being who I am should not compromise who you are. The road to coming out was not easy. I was born in Zimbabwe in 1992 September 12, and grew up in the depth of a ghetto. My parents were decent enough to provide us with an opportunity to study at an A school. I never thought being lesbian would always be a miserable life style. Not until I dropped out of the closet at the age of 14 in the year 2006. What a gruesome experience!

My name is Tinashe Wakapila, Tinashe means God is with us, or Unathi and I was given the name on my christening day. Being a Christian and lesbian has always been a thorn in my life. It was hard being hurt by the women I loved, getting heartbroken a million times, and oh did I mention the priest preaching about homosexuality in church almost every Sunday?
Hearing that I would go to hell if I did not change really stressed me a lot, I was always sad. I was only 8 years old when I started liking girls and I did not know what to label it. Back in those days it was one of those “I don’t want anything with my best friend kind of love.” I dropped out of the closet many times but I would rush back in, because I was scared of the results that could take place if I didn’t.

The first tender time I was dropped out the closet was when I was in 3^rd grade. My friend asked me to feel her soft silky socks under the table to compare them with mine. As I bent down trying to feel her socks, I touched her forbidden fruit accidentally and became excited. She screamed very loud and ran off to tell the teacher. My mum was called in immediately, after receiving the whole explanation she put me on her lap and spanked me hard on my bum. I believe it was her way of dealing with the humiliation, rather than punishing me. She hit me in front of my classmates, they laughed at me and I felt anger and hatred build up inside me.
The friend who told on me?
Well let’s just say from that day I didn’t like her as much, our friendship suffered from then on. We eventually mended our broken bridges and became friends again. She is now a bisexual woman, very much into LGBTIQA rights like me, we laugh at this story.

Grade 8 was the worst; I went to an all girls’ school. My true feelings started coming out then, as I checked out girls. My first kiss came from a cute 9^th grader from my school, she was doing it to learn for boys. Whatever her reasons, I did not care. I liked it, but it marked my second coming out. I would not call it coming out, but the good term would be “found out” or “caught.” I was this cute tomboy and every girl had a crush on me. I had some girls that I liked as well, so I had a hard time choosing. I had one girl that I denied access to my heart, out me this time. She was our school prefect. Not long after having my then girlfriend, I had this first prefect scare me to death. I call it a near outing take place at school. She dragged my girlfriend and I to the principal’s office after she caught us kissing. The whole school was booing behind us. The scripture union club sang their spiritual songs as we passed them.

They chanted and said we were possessed by demons. The prefect who found us kept on shouting, “how could you kiss another girl?”
I wanted to respond to her question by saying “I was making out with my girlfriend hahaha.” I found an alternative answer and said we were just doing stage props for an upcoming school play Romeo and Juliet. I played Romeo of course and my girlfriend played Juliet. So our argument was we were practising the kissing part.
The prefect let us go scot-free. We where told that no kissing will happen in the play whatsoever. I asked, “if we were doing the play with boys, would the girl and boy kiss?” they said yes, it is appropriate. I was shocked. Whenever two people are in love hiding it is never easy, so we got caught again. That time there was no hiding, we were wrapping up our lines and actions, and I remember it like it was yesterday, with a vivid picture of what transpired.

When she came and said to me, “what if we kiss the parts we’re supposed to kiss?” (When they dim the lights and pretend we kissed). I was like, “anything to entertain people.” She insisted, and really moved closer to me saying “I’m going to kiss you right now!”

I asked her what if the teacher comes and finds us kissing, wont we be in hot soup?
She was not taking no for an answer, she said, “come on let’s be naughty.”
Before I knew it we were kissing again. The prefect, who liked me but had denied my heart, came budging in with the other cast members of Romeo and Juliet. Everyone got scared and went out and they started whispering. The prefect came to us and in a rude way asked what we were doing. My girlfriend was giggling as she buttoned her blouse.

She was giggling because she knew the prefect was like us too, she lied that we were practising our lines but it was not true because we had been told no kissing. The prefect got so mad and went on with her real story, “so you ditched me for a
junior, how could you humiliate me like that? I am a prefect,” she added gritting her teeth. I knew it was not going to end well, so I tried by all means to hush the story but both the girls where on fire. I still wish I had ran out of the school, rushed home and just disappeared, because what happened after led me to a tough teenage life growing up. Both the girls started quarrelling and the prefect took charge and led us straight to the principal’s office, because of jealousy. This time the student body was running behind us, chanting all over again. It was obvious now and I have never felt so embarrassed. As we walked down the corridors I begged her not to turn us in. The more I begged the more excited she got. I decided to shut up.
When we got to the principal’s office the prefect went in and told the principal on us, our parents were called. I felt dizzy, my heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. Knowing that my mother is a Christian woman; I felt she would just burn me at the stack herself. My body shook uncontrollably I swear I peed myself that time.
I heard voices inside my head asking questions.
How will I explain this?
How will I get through this?
Will they get me?
I still ask and remember imagining myself running as fast as I could out of the headmistresses’ office. I imagined running to the highest school building and jumping off! Dying on the spot. My parents finding my dead body and wished they could’ve done it themselves because it was unbearable for them. I snapped out of my imagination and got in her office and waited for our parents, the disciplinary hearing committee was there, opening bibles and lecturing us with all sorts of scares because of what we had done. Both our parents got in and without further delay my girlfriend’s mother got in, came straight to me and slapped me. It shocked no one but me. Instead, they all felt pity for the lady who slapped me.
Whispering how it was wrong for me to do what I was doing with her daughter. She said, “if you do not answer why you are dragging my daughter into your satanic cult culture I’m going to beat you harder!”

I just stared at her with tears streaming down my 14 year old face; I looked down and told her I did not understand. Fear, embarrassment and homophobic comments made me cry so hard I could not stop. My mother apologised but my girlfriend’s mother did not, she asked for a transfer letter and that was the last time I saw her. My mother begged the principle not to expel me, it was a process but luckily after days of trying they did not expel. They agreed that I should go to a correctional facility (probation). I was scared, hurt, and angry. Then resorted to deathly behaviours like cutting my hand, wrist, and thighs, for me to focus on something else. It was worse when some of my aunts agreed to take me to white garment churches, being young sometimes is difficult. I went along with it because now I was convinced enough that I was bad and evil. The only place I had seen in a newspaper that I thought would help me was open to 18 year olds going up. I washed in every river I could think of and given prayer marbles etc.

Finally it was processed I had to stay in a probation centre (PC), because I really had a problem. The application got processed after my mum and dad had sat me down and asked me why I was doing it. All I said was I don’t know how it started. So in their mind it clicked that I did not like it, so I needed to be ”corrected”.
It was November 15, in 2006 when a police van came to pick me up at home. We had enjoyed a family gathering; I think it was my farewell to go for probation. Two police officers collected me one female, one male. My bags were packed and I kept asking what was happening. All I could hear were whispers; my parents were standing there agreeing to every bit of the discussion. All my relatives were whispering in each other’s ears, my aunt went on to say, “I think she was the cause, it was hard finding a job, maybe not her as such, but that male demonic spirit she is carrying.” My uncle responded by saying, “to even think she received the Holy Communion in the mass celebration.” My cousin chopped him off with an interesting statement; “I think she was taking the holy body of Christ to their temple for their devil sacrifice.” All these whispers were audible, I started questioning myself if there was even any meaning to what they were saying I was only 14 years old and found myself in the back of a police van.
We reached the PC and found that there were a few children; it had just been set up. Children assembled, jogging and marching like soldiers, “where are we?“ I asked the other girl who was in the van with me, “we are in the correctional facility,” she replied. With a shocked look I repeated the question; before she could answer she was yanked off followed by me, then led to the gate of the correctional facility. I was so lost, why was I being corrected, was it the incident that happened at school? The incident I dare not repeat. We were locked in a small room and they locked me up in a room with a girl whose correction was to stop stealing. She was so beautiful and I acknowledged it to her. She asked me why I was in and I told her my story, she feared. The following morning I woke up, stared outside the window and saw the two police officers staring at my burglar window. The tiny room I was in was not ideal for me, and the other girl farted a lot during her sleep. Every morning the room had a bad smell, they had to put me there, and they had to make me suffer.
My liking of girls was just not allowed anywhere in the country. One preacher who came to counsel us explained that our country is Christian, and does not tolerate it, including our president. I raised my hand and asked what if I was born like that? His response was readily prepared, “I guess it means your parents are cursed and being here is right for you because you will be changed.”
That night I wished I had not asked, they put me in a circle and prayed for me. Some pushed me hard I fell on the ground, when I asked them to stop they would say it is the demon being burnt. This went on for months; the fourth month on probation was really hard. The girl thief I shared my room with protested and said I was making moves on her, that I was trying to have sex with her. I got a time schedule for beatings because I needed both spiritual and physical discipline. I always cried until I had no more tears. I still cry hard when I think of it. I suffered homophobia at a tender age, when I was supposed to be up and about getting skinned knees and bruised hearts. Instead I was getting skinned buttocks from tjamboks and grilled hands for every wrong response. I learned how to lie and play innocent. When I got caught kissing a girl drastic measures were taken, landing me in a correctional facility. But when my friend was caught in her parent’s house or school classrooms with her boyfriend they just brushed it off.

In that correctional facility I met children who were thieves, sugar daddy fans, you name all the wrong issues that should not be associated with children, and I became part of them because of who I was in love with. 7 months passed and I came out of the PC. They were sure I was “corrected”. Remember you can change and stop stealing, start asking nicely. You can change from sugar daddies to liking boys your own age etc. As for me, what was I to change?
Should I be a person who forcefully loves the opposite gender?
I walked free at last and grew up very careful of who I was. I sat down when I turned 18 and I asked, “why am I oppressing myself?”

I had already paid the price with a high rate. I remember the day I got home, no one talked about this, and no one made a speech. I continued with my school and finished. I did not do well in my results because I was disturbed and lost. People just thought what a dumb girl she is. I did my diploma in secretarial and office admin, got a job, and worked while studying, so I could pay for my diploma. My mom kept suggesting that we pray together, she passed a message like, “God why did you punish me by giving me a lesbian daughter?”
It made me want to be rich quickly, to get out of my parent’s house, because every time gay issues were raised my mom in particular would ask God were she went wrong. When I got my first Job in 2009 I bought my parents thank you gifts. I don’t know why I thanked them, maybe because they are my parents after all. My mother was uptight; she does not plan to understand it. Although I utilize my diploma to get jobs, I have one goal and achievement that I’m excellent at, despite not having schools for that in my country. I still dream of pursuing arts, acting, poetry, singing, writing and activism. I am an activist who takes every chance she gets to pass positivity in the LGBTQA community.

I want to tell that little girl going through the same ordeal not to suffer. That parent who has a child like me. I just love working hard and hope one day I will reach my goal. I’m still faced with homophobic behaviour. I ask myself what would break me now that could not break a 14 year old me?
What could hurt me now, more than only having 2 meals a day when your family is lavishing?
What could break me now, more than having only the warmth of my body after bathing in ice cold water every day for 7 months of my life as a teenager?
Not eating sweets, cakes, biscuits and all the goodies?

My Answer is NOTHING!
Because who I am should never, compromise who you are. I hope whoever
reads this; young or old will learn something. Being homosexual is not
chosen. If it was a choice really I would have chosen to be “normal”
too because being bashed everyday for who you are, is not all right. It
just sets back every aspect of ones life. Homosexuality is sexuality
just like heterosexuality.

Previous life stories

2014 Dec. 1: “I lost my mom, she died in my hands”

and

2014 Nov. 24: Our Photographs have been taken

and

2014 Oct. 29: “I always avoided fights”

and

2014 Sept. 24: “At times I’d get jealous thinking she was taking my place

and

2014 Aug. 30: I’m a game changer, leader and activist

and

2014 Aug. 9: “I am not a lesbian by choice”

and

2014 Aug. 8: To be honest I love how I look

and

2014 July 26: “I was born this way and I cannot change the skin that I live in”

and

2014 June 25: I consider myself beautiful not handsome

and

2014 May 30: I was a boy who would one day grow up to be a man

and

2013 Oct. 16: I am a beautiful young dyke, a woman lover

and

2013 Oct. 12: I just feel she deserves much better

and

2014 May 8: “I was not aware that this project would be this big

and

2013 June 27: Who I Am

and

2013 June 25: The Men In My Life

On this day we hired a car and drove to Mafikeng, North West to introduce the Faces and Phases (2006 -2014) book to some of the participants featuring in it and their friends.
We also met new possible participants.
The meeting started with introductions followed by a discussion (knowledge sharing…)

Beautiful dykes and femmes…led by Mildred Maropefela

Dedicated activist, Mildred who is the leader of Gay Umbrella.

… with members of Gay Umbrella, friends and family members

Boitumelo “Pat Kelly” Molale

Cool dude, Katlego Phetlhu… who is featuring in Faces and Phases series…                              © All photos by Muholi (2014/12/23)

by Sicka ‘Shaz’ Mthunzi

Imbokodo is what she is, a mother that I love and respect more than anything in the world.

She has the strength of 10 men and a heart full of life and love. She is my mother, my pillar of strength, my best friend and my sense of direction. Words cannot describe the list of everything that she is, what I know is that she is my everything.‬

‪Mama this is a thank you letter from me to you.
A token of my appreciation just to thank you for everything you have done for me.
Many didn’t get this chance to thank their mothers.

Shaz ‘Sicka’ Mthunzi & her mother…

You carried me for 9 months and screamed during birth but you never threw me in the street. You raised us with love and tender care, even with no food and shelter, you sacrificed your skin and protected us from rains and high temperatures.

I still bear emotional scars inside me from seeing my father hit you in front of us, you still stood up with pride and protected us from the monster he became. You raised us single handed with out the help of a man in your life. I bow to you and say “Uyimbokodo”.

At the age of 16 things changed for the worst with no father and me getting sick my family disappeared as if they we not there. Stress clouded your well being, when you watched sicknesses take over my body. I was told I have a calling, a calling in which will haunt me until I leave this earth and bring suffering in my home.

I suffered various chronic diseases very torturing and tormenting in my soul and body. I remember crying each and everyday asking myself what I did to deserve such misery and heartache.
You were still there when friends became strangers, family became critics.

I used to see things which no one could see, I used to do things not any ordinary person can. Things changed in a blink of an eye. Although you didn’t understand, you still stood beside me all the time.‬

‪I sat down and took a huge decision that involves saving my family from poverty. My greatest fear was when my ancestors said they would take my intelligence since I use it a lot. I told you about the decision I had taken, and also went and told my father’s family but they ignored me.

Mom you helped me through the process with the help of my late uncle, whom I still miss and know you do all the time. When I told you about my sexuality you didn’t disown me. Instead you hugged me and told me you support me all the way, the LGBTI community and the world needs women like you.

You are always there when I need you, even when I have made you angry you are still there for me. I love you mom, as much as I don’t have anything to give you now, I promise that through my hard work, I will give you the best gift a child can ever give a parent.‬

Shaz ‘Sicka’ Mthunzi & her mother II

‪A little poem to you mom‬
‪She has a success formula
Her endeavors are limitless
She is tops in the art of friendship
She has an endearing smile
She is able to use her intellect wisely
Her laughter is contagious
She has the qualities of a pearl
She’s been known to show who’s the boss
Prefers the path less traveled by lots of love,
I love you mom.‬

Related link

2014 Oct. 15: A letter to my Mom by Siba Nkumbi

The Pen World Voices Festival of International Literature runs May 4-10.
“Queer Futures” takes place Wednesday, May 6, 6–7:30 p.m. at the Sheen Center Loretto Auditorium, 18 Bleecker Street, New York City

Queer Futures panel moderated by Shireen Hassim featuring Binyavanga Wainaina, Zanele Muholi and Kehinde Bademosi.

L-R:  Binyavanga Wainaina, Zanele Muholi and Kehinde Bademosi

Selfie by Adejoke Tugbiyele with Muholi

Related links

Spotlight on Queer Africa: Kehinde Bademosi and Zanele Muholi

and

Watch the entire conversation aired live by GreenSpace:

http://www.thegreenespace.org/story/-demand-video-pen-world-voices-queer-futures/

by Dalisu Ngobese

So the night we came to London for had come, with hugs, smiles and kisses on both cheeks the room was filled with anticipation and nerves started to show on Zanele’s laughter. A slight uneasiness that I’ve never witnessed before was visible in her gaze as people in their own uneasiness wanted to strike a different conversation to that about the huge elephant in the room.

The obvious point that everyone kept making was why was this a competition between 4 totally different works of photography in the first place?
The answer is because there is a need to recognize the world’s most talented photographer(s) in the world. So how can you rate someone’s work as the best when they are not even in competition with anyone else and are not in the same genre or subject matter as the next photographer’s work?
Dubbed the Oscar’s of photography the Deutsch Borse Prize held at The Photographers’ Gallery London is rated amongst the most prestigious in the world of photography but with only one nominee that gets to walk away with the £30 000 prize money and that makes it even more “prestigious” I guess.

At dinner with photographers and curators at dinner

The campaign was flowing on all 3 floors the 1st was where the speeches and the announcement was going to take place, 2nd and 3rd were the nominated artist’s work all packed to the rafters. Time for the announcement and the heavy duty fell on the shoulders of 2013 winner and fellow South African Adam Bloomberg to read the winner(s) of this year’s prize. And the winner is… Mikhael Subotzky (born 1981, South Africa) and Patrick Waterhouse (born 1981, UK). The three other nominees Zanele Muholi, Viviane Sassen and Nikolai Bakharev sadly miss out on the prize and I felt the night ended without knowing how the winners were picked or what this really means for the winners besides the prize money.

I was disappointed for Zanele as much as I was disappointed for the black community in knowing that we could be fighting for recognition in spaces where what you are fighting for is not credited for what it wants to be but only for what it was.  Here is a black South African in Zanele Muholi fighting to end violence and rapes against the LGBTI community and raising its status to normality by presenting positive and strong imagery of black people who happen to be lesbian or gay or bi-sexual not being recognized for her lifetime’s work and I thought to myself had her perspective been of beat up lesbians or poor gay men or homophobes her work would have been recognized tonight. In her definitive words the “world is not ready for gay content.” Certainly not in the way Muholi views it.

Related link

2015 May 28: Day Two in London

and

2015 May 27: “My excitement wouldn’t let me miss out”

I am Tshepo Seoketsi Mooketsi,  a first year Communication Sciences and Anthropology student at a South African University. I am an LGBTIQ Activist and a Trans feminist who hails from Schweizer Reneke a small rural town in the North West Province of South Africa. I am a 24 year old transwoman of colour.

Seoketsi Tshepo Mooketsi portrait from her facebook page

My Body, My politics

I believe  I am more than just my body. I am a  human being , a living warrior who just happens to disagree with the tag society puts on my body. I believe in my bodily autonomy and i no longer live according to the societal fixed norms. I use my body to express my feelings about my own gender.

I personally feel the term ’trapped’ distorts my reality. My body is my platform where i can freely express myself.  I refuse to conform to ideals which, denigrate and oppress me. I take charge of my life and my body. I wear and walk and talk in the manner i deem fit.

I am conscious about how i present my body because i want it to reflect the person i am. I adorn my body, so that it reflects my feelings about myself. This boosts my confidence as i  have grown to appreciate the smallest to the largest details about it. Yes! There is no such thing, as a perfect body, but making my body feel comfortable, taking ownership and appreciating it counts.

I believe my body makes me unique and sets me apart from others,it immediately tells my story the minute I step on the streets or enter a room.

In my process of self-discovery as  i began to embrace my gender identity, i experienced transphobia from the LGB to the church community. This did not break me, instead it  motivated me  to change these negative attitudes and speak out against violations and injustices. Now i know that loving myself and asserting my gender identity is  a political statement.
Please note that this story was published in AfricTrans before.

Related links

2015 April 16:  My story as a Zimbabwean Transvestite

and

2014 Aug. 30:  I’m a game changer, leader and activist

and

2013 Oct. 2:  ‘I am a normal transgender woman’